Fatima Zahra Mosque and Hussaini
﷽
FAJR
SUNRISE
ZUHR
MAGHRIB
ISHA
marriage & divorce
Marriage
Marriage, or nikah in Arabic, is the union of a man and a woman under Islamic law (Shari’a). When a couple gets married, they are allowed to have intimate relations and have moral and legal responsibilities towards each other.There are two types of marriage in Islam:
- Permanent Marriage: This is the common form of marriage found in most cultures and religions. It lasts until the death of one spouse or divorce.
- Temporary Marriage (Mut’ah): This is a marriage contracted for a limited period of time, which is only practiced in Islam.
For a marriage to be valid, the man and woman must agree to marry each other, and a specific marriage formula must be recited by them or their representatives. Any sexual relationship outside of marriage is strictly forbidden in Islam.
Importance of Marriage
The Quran and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) place great emphasis on marriage. The Prophet said that when a person gets married young, half or two-thirds of their faith is protected. He also stated that an unmarried person who is struggling with sexual desires is the worst in his community, and that anyone who refuses to marry is not truly following his teachings. He believed that the fear of poverty should not prevent one from getting married, as it amounts to doubting Allah.
The Significance of Marriage in Islam
The Arabic word “nikah” literally translates to “pair,” and in Islamic thought, it refers to the matrimonial union that makes a man and woman legally and morally responsible for each other. Islam respects the marriage customs and traditions of every culture, as a hadith states: “Every nation has specific marriage customs and traditions.”Marriage is highly encouraged in Islam, and Muslims are expected to help and support singles in getting married. Parents, in particular, bear a great responsibility in ensuring their children’s marriages, and if the youth commit sins due to remaining single, the parents share in that sin.Simplicity is recommended for marriage ceremonies, including keeping the mahr (bridal gift) modest. A hadith warns that high mahr and excessive living costs are signs of an inauspicious wife. Islam does not impose strict rulings on marriage, as evident from the Qur’anic verse quoting Prophet Shu’aib’s words, urging people not to make marriage difficult.The Qur’an assures that poverty should not prevent marriage, as Allah will enrich the poor from His bounty:
“And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.” (Qur’an 32:24)
Prophets have forbidden gratifying sexual desires through unlawful means such as masturbation, adultery, and homosexuality. The Qur’an condemns the people of Lot for their transgression and excessive conduct in engaging in homosexual acts, calling it an “indecency and an evil way”:
“Do not approach fornication. It is indeed an indecency and an evil way.” (Qur’an 17:32)
Islam abolished various forms of marriage practiced in the pre-Islamic era, such as marrying one’s father’s widow or divorced wife, secret cohabitation without a contract, and exchanging women without paying mahr.
The Rulings on Marriage
Marriage is generally recommended (mustahab) in Islam, but it can be obligatory (wajib) for those who may commit sins by remaining single, forbidden (haram) for a man who already has four wives, disliked (makruh) for those without sexual desire, and permissible (mubah) when both marrying and remaining single have their respective advantages.The Qur’an frequently uses the root word “zawj” (pair) and its derivatives, as well as the word “nikah” (marriage) and its derivatives, emphasizing concepts related to marriage, divorce, chastity, mahr, and sexual relations. The Qur’an highlights various objectives and benefits of marriage, such as:
- Repose and inner calm
- Continuation of the human race
- Raising righteous children
- Affection and mercy
- Gratifying sexual needs
- Prevention of sins
- Enrichment of the poor by Allah’s mercy
Numerous hadiths also extol the virtues and recommendations for marriage, including:
- Marriage is the greatest divine gift after being a Muslim
- It is the tradition of the Prophet (peace be upon him)
- It is highly recommended in youth
- Low mahr is important
- Marriage is the most beautiful construction for God
- The prayer of a married person is seventy times more valuable
- Marriage leads to an increase in sustenance (rizq)
- Couples are advised to be sensual in their privacy
- Serving one’s spouse brings about God’s forgiveness for sins
- Maintaining balance in the spousal relationship
- Respecting one’s spouse increases one’s own respect and value
- Deeper affection for the spouse indicates a higher degree of faith
- There should be no compulsion in choosing a spouse
- Husbands should express love through kind words
- Wealthy husbands should not be stingy towards their families
- Spending time with family is valuable and rewarded by Allah
- Wives are recommended to obey their husbands
- Marriage should not be postponed
- Singles are considered the worst of the Ummah (Muslim community)
Varieties of Marriage
Islam recognizes two main types of marriage:
Permanent Marriage
Permanent marriage is the common and widely practiced form of marriage. It is contracted through a marriage proposal, agreement on the mahr (bridal gift) that the groom must pay the bride, and the recitation of the marriage formula. Before uttering the marriage formula, the man and woman are not considered husband and wife, but after its recitation, they officially enter into a matrimonial bond, even if they do not immediately start living together.
Temporary Marriage (Mut’a)
Temporary marriage, also known as mut’a, is a time-limited marriage in which a man and woman become husband and wife for a predetermined period agreed upon in advance. This type of marriage is initiated by agreeing on a specified mahr and reciting the marriage formula.Permanent and temporary marriages share most of the same rulings. In a mut’a marriage, the man and woman are referred to as husband (zawj) and wife (zawja), respectively, and any child born from this union is treated religiously and legally the same as a child born from a permanent marriage. For instance, the father is obligated to provide for the child’s expenses (nafaqa), and the child has the right to inherit from both parents.However, there are some differences between the two types of marriages. In a temporary marriage, the husband is not legally responsible for providing the wife with necessities such as food, clothing, housing, and other daily needs. Additionally, the wife does not require her husband’s permission to leave the house.The termination of a temporary marriage does not require a divorce. It automatically ends in two cases:
- When the agreed-upon duration of the contract expires.
- If the husband chooses to terminate the contract before its expiration date.
In both cases, the contract is terminated, and the woman must observe the ‘idda (waiting period) under certain conditions. Temporary marriage has been a controversial social issue, and while it is permitted in Islam, some disapprove of it due to potential misuses.
The Marriage Formula (‘Aqd al-Nikah)
Marriage in Islam is initiated with the recitation of the ‘aqd al-nikah (marriage contract formula). A man and woman are not considered married until they utter this formula and must adhere to all the principles governing non-mahram relationships to avoid committing a sin.The ‘aqd al-nikah is valid if the following conditions are met:
- Qasd al-insha’ (intention to pronounce a man and woman as husband and wife)
- Paying attention to the content of the marriage formula
- Muwalat (the offer and acceptance must be done successively without delay)
- Tanjiz (the marriage formula must be irrevocable and unconditional)
- Pronouncing the words of the marriage formula correctly
Being engaged does not make a man and woman permissible for each other, and the rulings of married couples do not apply to engaged individuals until the marriage formula is recited.The man and woman are the ones who should make the final decision about their marriage. However, most jurists believe that a woman requires her father’s permission (or her grandfather’s if her father is deceased) if she is getting married for the first time.
Prohibited Cases
Marriage can be prohibited (haram) in certain cases, either permanently or temporarily. The following table outlines the cases in which marriage is permanently or temporarily prohibited:
rohibited marriages encompass several categories in Islamic jurisprudence. Among these are consanguineous relationships, such as those between mother, daughter, sister, father’s sister, mother’s sister, brother’s daughter, and sister’s daughter, all of which are established through the practice of rida’, the bond formed between a nursing infant and the breastfeeding woman. In-law mahrams, including various familial connections like mother-in-law and wife’s sister, are also restricted. Additionally, marrying a woman still within her ‘idda period after divorce, committing adultery with a married or recently divorced woman, and remarrying after a third divorce without an intermediate marriage for the woman are all forbidden. Furthermore, having more than four permanent wives simultaneously is prohibited, though temporary marriages are permissible for additional spouses. Lastly, while Muslims are generally forbidden from marrying non-Muslims, there is a specific allowance for Muslim men to temporarily marry women from the People of the Book, such as Christians and Jews.
How a Marriage Formula Annuls
The end of marriage is different in the two types of marriage:
Permanent marriage: marriage formula of permanent marriage is annulled under the following conditions:
- Getting divorced
- Passing away of one of the couple
- Irtidad (conscious abandonment of Islam) of one of the couple
- If one of the couple who were not Muslim before the marriage, becomes Muslim (under certain circumstances)
- Li’an: in the case that the husband accuses his wife of committing adultery. If the husband does not have enough evidence to prove his wife’s sin, the husband and the wife curse each other in a special way in the court. Then the husband takes an oath that his wife committed adultery. And the wife in response to her husband, takes the same oath that her husband is not right and denies the accusation. After li’an, the marriage is over and the man and the woman can never marry each other again.
Temporary marriage: This marriage is annulled by the above-mentioned conditions (except divorce) with two additions:
- When the duration of the contract (‘aqd) ends
- The husband disregards the remaining time of the marriage (this is the divorce in mut’a)
Rights
There are some rights for both husband and wife, as the Qur’an states:
| “ | “The wives have rights similar to the obligations upon them, in accordance with honorable norms; and men have a degree above them [in responsibility and authority], and Allah is all-mighty and all-wise.” Qur’an 2:228 | ” |
Since the male and the female are members of the society, both have similar civil rights, but each has many different rights within the family due to different roles and positions they have as a husband or a wife. In other words, they have different duties and responsibilities, therefore they have different rights. Every institution, including the family, needs a manager, and in Islam the husband is supposed to undertake such a responsibility. The Qur’an states that Allah made men in charge of women, but does not state that Allah made the males superior to the females. Human society, in fact, is a system in which every member has their own duties and responsibilities; So is the family.
| “ | “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.” Qur’an 4:34 | ” |
| Wife’s Rights | Husband’s Rights | |
|---|---|---|
1. Mahr: It is recommended for the female not to put it high. | 1. Divorce |
According to Risalat al-huquq (Treatise of Rights), Imam al-Sajjad (a) introduces some of the rights of husband and wife as following:
- Never forget that your wife is a gift from God and is the cause of your repose and inner calm, so thank God for this divine gift and express your appreciation by being good-tempered with her and by honoring her and tolerate her mistakes and bad behaviors.
- Wife’s right is that you behave kindly towards her and to be quite fond of her, and make her and yourself calm in gratifying sexual needs.
- Husband’s right is that the wife succors her husband and acknowledges him as long as there is no sin;
- it is a great right that wife is obliged not to violate.
In another hadith, the husband’s jihad is to fight in the battlefield, and the wife’s jihad is to care about the husband and tolerate his petulance.
One of the problems that can happen between husband and wife is nushuz (violating rights of each other). If such problem happens,the Qur’an has suggested a process in which the family should solve the issue.
Choosing a Spouse
There is no certain way of proposal or choosing a spouse in Islam. Each of the male and the female can propose to another, but normally in many societies the male is the one who does the proposal. However, in the case of ‘aqd, the female (or her lawyer) starts uttering the first part of marriage formula which should be followed by uttering the second part by the groom (or his lawyer).
Some Criteria
Although, people are free about how to choose their spouse, there are some criteria mentioned in hadiths which suggest a way for finding a proper person to marry with. These criteria are as follows:
- Being religious, not only in words, but also in practice. Specially it is forbidden to marry someone who drinks alcohol or commits adultery.
- Being good-tempered. There is a narration about someone who asked Imam ‘Ali b. Musa al-Rida (a): “someone proposed to my daughter but he is bad-tempered. Should I agree with their marriage?” Imam (a) replied: “If he is so, do not agree”.
- Family honor.
- Similarity (Kufwiyya): It has been said that the more the couples are similar in their characteristics, the stronger their marriage bond will be.
There are also some other factors relating to one’s taste or status, but they fall into the second category of importance, such as beauty, similarity in race, financial status, and so on.
In the Hereafter (Heaven)
According to the Qur’an, men will have wives in the Heaven and their wives will be either from big-eyed houris (hur al-‘in) or from pious heavenly females. If both husband and wife are heavenly and they wish to keep living together in the Heaven, they would remain couples. In the Qur’an the heavenly females are described as beautiful, loving, virgin, good-tempered, eternal, and of the same age with their husband in the Heaven.
Divorce
Divorce or Ṭalāq (Arabic: طَلاق), is the cancellation of the bond of marriage. In Islam, divorce is a permissible, legitimate action, but according to some hadiths, it is a halal detested by God most of all. The Qur’an has recommended that if there is a disagreement between a husband and a wife, their relatives try to make a reconciliation between them in order to prevent a divorce between them. The Qur’an has offered some rulings as well as some pieces of advice with respect to divorce. There is a sura in the Qur’an regarding the divorce, known as Sura al-Talaq (Qur’an 65).
ِِDivorce is a kind of iqa’ (one sided disposition), that is, unlike marriage, it is a unilateral action done by the man. There are many rulings for the divorce. For example, in a consummated marriage, the woman cannot be divorced during her Menstruation or nifas (postpartum bleeding) unless she is pregnant. Also, two just men should witness the recitation of the marriage formula of the divorce.
There are two kinds of divorce: Rij’i (returnable) and Ba’in (irrevocable). In the returnable divorce, the man can return to the woman during the period of ‘idda (waiting period), that is, without making a new marriage contract. But in the irrevocable divorce, the man cannot return to the woman.
Definition
Divorce is the cancellation of the bond of marriage. Just like marriage, it is done by reciting a special formula, but unlike marriage, it counts as an iqa’ (one sided disposition), that is, it is unilaterally enforced by the man.
In Islam
Divorce is legitimate and permissible in Islam, but according to hadiths, it is a halal that God hates the most, which shakes the foundations of the Divine Throne.
There is a hadith in Mir’at al-‘uqul from Imam al-Sadiq (a) according to which, God loves a home in which a married couple lives, and hates a home in which a divorce took place, and there is nothing hated by God more than divorce.
Divorce is not pleasant in the Qur’an as well. The Qur’an 4:35 has recommended that if there is a dispute between a wife and a husband, their relatives should moderate between them and try to make a reconciliation: “and if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things]”.
Qur’anic Rulings about Divorce
Here are some Qur’anic rulings concerning divorce:
- Observing the woman’s rights
“And when they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or part with them according to acceptable terms”.
This verse is concerned with returnable divorce in which the man can return to his divorced wife during the waiting period, that is, he can make her, his wife again without a new marriage contract. The verse commands men to treat their wives well and observe their rights during the waiting period, whether they want to return to them, or want to part with them.
- Not preventing the couple from remarriage
“And when you divorce women and they have fulfilled their term, do not prevent them from remarrying their [former] husbands if they agree among themselves on an acceptable basis”.
The verse commands the relatives of the woman not to prevent her from remarrying her former husband.
- Giving the divorced wife a gift
“And for divorced women is a provision according to what is acceptable—a duty upon the righteous.”
Shiite scholars believe that the verse is concerned with women who do not have a mahr in an unconsummated marriage. According to this ruling, it is obligatory to give a gift to these women.
Sura al-Talaq
There is a sura in the Qur’an which is mostly concerned with the rulings of divorce, and thus, it came to be called “Sura al-Talaq” (Qur’an 65). The sura has twelve verses concerning the rulings and pieces of advice regarding divorce.
Rulings
Here are some rulings of divorce:
- At the time of divorce, the women should be pure from menstruation and nifas (postpartum bleeding). The condition does not apply to a woman with an unconsummated marriage or a pregnant woman.
- The man should not have had sexual intercourse with his wife during her last period or postpartum bleeding. Otherwise, in order to divorce the woman, he has to wait for her to be on her period again and then be pure. The condition does not apply to a woman younger than nine, a pregnant woman, and a menopausal woman.
- The marriage formula of divorce should be recited in Arabic.
- Two just men should witness the divorce.
Types
Given the man’s right to return to marriage, there are two types of divorce: Rij’i (returnable) and Ba’in (irrevocable). The latter is of 5 types. Each type of divorce has its own rulings.
Returnable Divorce
A returnable divorce is one in which the man can return to his wife, that is, he can make her his wife again without a new marriage contract. As long as the woman is in the waiting period (‘idda) of a returnable divorce, all rulings of marriage apply between the wife and the husband except for a few ones.
Irrevocable Divorce
It is a divorce in which the man does not have the right to return to his wife, whether or not the woman has a waiting period (‘idda).
The following are types of irrevocable divorces:
- Divorce of a woman in an unconsummated marriage,
- Divorce of a woman younger than nine,
- Divorce of a menopausal woman,
- Khul’ divorce,
- Mubarat divorce,
- Third divorce.
Waiting Period of Divorce
The period in which the woman cannot get married is called “‘idda” (or waiting period). There are different types of ‘idda, such as ‘idda after divorce, ‘idda after the death of her husband, and ‘idda after a temporary marriage, which have different lengths. For a woman who regularly has periods, the ‘idda extends to the beginning of her third period, and for a non-menopausal woman who does not have periods, the ‘idda is three months.
Book an event
MOHAMMAD ALI
0426742737
contact us
Social Networks
Copyright © Fatima Zahra Mosque - 2024